So this year I turn 32 and honestly it just feels like it’ll be just another day, which is honestly completely fine. As I’ve gotten older, I still love celebrating birthdays, but mine just doesn’t seem to be as exciting as it once was. On top of birthdays becoming less exciting, it seems like being single at this age is also something I’m just going to have to keep getting comfortable with.

You would think that after 4 years of being single (with one relationshit sprinkled in there but that’s not what this is about) I would have become accustomed to being alone, but here we are and I still absolutely hate it. I’m all for having me time, but when that is your reality 24/7 it starts to get really old. At 31 almost 32, I have friends that I have known since high school, but we don’t talk consistently and that’s fine…I don’t have friends my own age and it seems like I connect to people that are at least if not more than 10 years older than me…nothing wrong with it…I guess I just have more in common with them than people my own age.

Maybe it’s jealousy or maybe I’m just sad that my life hasn’t followed a “normal” trajectory…when I look at people my own age, they’re having kids, getting married, dating, connecting with people their own age…meanwhile there’s nothing bad about my life in any sense of the word but it does look quite different. I have friends in their late 40s to early 60s, spend the majority of time with my dogs and work more than I should so I don’t play the comparison game and also don’t have time to think.

Having friends that have gone through the things I have and have at least a decade worth of experience on me is honestly really helpful and I wouldn’t change those friendships for the world…maybe I’m just not meant to have a big group of friends. I can count on 1 hand the number of people I talk to on a regular basis and that honestly seems just fine to me.

Some days, I really compare myself to people my age and realize that we are all on our own journey. My brain telling me that I’m not where I should be is something I deal with on a daily basis and it causes my anxiety to sky rocket. Maybe that’s why I want to start this blog back up and be consistent with it…to show that your life isn’t meant to follow some trajectory pre determined for you…you get to figure out what you want to do with your life, who you surround yourself with and what you want to be remembered for.