Loss

While loss comes in many different ways, sometimes the hardest to deal with is the loss that happens when someone just gives up on you. In my 27 years on this Earth, I’ve lost count of the number of people who have disguised themselves as my friend, just to drop me like a hot potato when I’m no longer relavent in their life. I’m not the perfect friend and I never claimed to be, but one thing I am, is someone who is willing to try and work through issues because my friends mean the world to me.

Picture this: you’re living your life, thinking everything is great and then suddenly a person you thought would be there forever is just gone. They decided you were a “no” and never told you why or how that happened. Someone that you talked to everyday and made time for suddenly decided you weren’t worth their time and effort over something you don’t even understand. Over the past couple years I have dealt with this countless times, but the most recent one has really left me feeling done. I’m done letting people treat me like garbage and I’m done letting them have any say in how I feel about myself.

Loss is hard, especially when there is no explanation but with each person I lose I realize just how important the people in my life are. I don’t need a circle of fake friends to make me feel happy, hell I shouldn’t need any friends to do that (but they help :)). I have friends that have stuck by me through 14 years of life, that I rarely talk to but I know are always there for me, I have friends I talk to on the daily that I know would do anything for me and I have family that would do the same. I no longer have any room in my life for people who use and abuse me because it’s convenient for them. I have been the fake friend and I admit that openly but I refuse to treat others like I’ve been treated because knowing you are not important to someone is honestly really crummy.

Each year I realize how much I’ve grown and this year is no different. Old Sara would have let this defeat her and would have created months of sadness and heartache over someone who just stopped caring. This Sara, however, refuses to do that and will instead make time for the real ones, and move on because ain’t nobody got time for that 💁🏻‍♀️