This isn’t a dig at alcohol, or anyone who chooses to partake in a libation every now and again. This blog post is simply a look inside my mind and my reasons for giving up alcohol for the foreseeable future. Over the last 3 years the song, “Sober” by Demi Lovato could have been my theme song. Through some of life’s toughest moments, I turned to alcohol to numb my feelings, making me feel anyhing but my emotions. While my drinking never interfered with my life in a professional way, in my personal life I became a girl who had no ambition, no self worth or self esteem. My days were centered around when I could get home to drink, and on most days I stopped at thr drive through daiquiri shack on my way home. I stopped there so many times that they knew my order like at Starbucks, but in this case not as fun and most definitely sad. From 2017- about 2 weeks ago, I could count on one hand the number of days I didn’t consume alcohol. Years wasted, destroying my mental and physical health for no reason other than to tune out everything going on around me.
I’m not saying I’m an alcoholic since I was never physically dependent and had no withdrawal symptoms from stopping, but I was heading down a slippery slope to destroying the life I worked so hard to create. Looking back, it’s a shock that I still have the friendships and relationships I do because drunk Sara was not a fun person to be around; no filter, emotional and overall pessimistic. One day about a month ago, I finally woke up and realized I didn’t want to be that person, I didn’t want to live to drink. The only way I could make a change was to see how tired of my own shit I was becoming. If I didn’t want to be around myself, who would??
Today’s society puts so much emphasis on alcohol with new types of drinks popping up daily. The glamorization of IPAs, rosé, seltzers and top shelf liquor, there is nowhere in this country you can go without seeing some type of alcohol. These drink companies produce ads that condone drinking a drug, yes, a drug. The most widely used substance because of its legality and “cool” factor. Much like cigarettes in the early years, alcohol is a substance that can cause so much harm to your body, but it’s accepted to consume something that is quite literally poison (and used for fuel). Social acceptance and glamorization of drinking does not, in any way negate the effects of alcohol.
Over the next month, I’m hoping to focus on my mental well being, without the use of alcohol. A clear mind and healthy body will provide the perfect environment to look within myself and really find what my purpose is and deal with all of the emotions I have kept myself from feeling. In my first week, I can say with 100% certainty that the people you surround yourself with can make or break you and I am so grateful to have people who support me through all of my decisions. While I will not partake in drinking, I don’t think everyone should stop…unless, like me, you can’t just have one drink and be okay. I don’t know exactly what I’m trying to get at, other than to let anyone reading this know that you are not alone if you’re struggling with any type of addictive behavior. My best advice (that I actually followed) is to gather reading materials and journals specific to your journey and educate yourself, find your why and stick with it no matter how much you want to give in. Nothing in life is linear and this journey will be no different, but I am committed to being the best Sara I can be and that starts with taking care of my mental and physical health.