“That it will never come again is what makes life sweet”-Emily Dickinson
This quote evokes a sense of calm when I think about the things I’ve experienced in my life thus far. I think about it often and this year it’s helped me live in the present and not the past. I am guilty of living in the past, letting past experiences make my decisions, and wondering why things happened the way they did. When the new year started, I had no resolutions, my only goal was to live in the present and become the best version of myself; simple enough, right? Oh, how I wish it was that easy! At 26 I’ve graduated high school, received a full ride scholarship to college, graduated said college, married my high school sweetheart, got a dog, joined the Army, bought a house, bought a car, learned some hard lessons through trial and error and got a divorce. While many of those things sound super positive, the negative things in my life have overshadowed all the positives I’ve done. My anxiety tells me daily that I haven’t accomplished anything and that my failures are the only that others see. However, removing myself from my anxiety and looking at everything rationally shows that I am in fact a success. Not in the ” I have a million dollars and don’t have to worry” type of way, but in the “I’m living life, learning new things everyday and working towards my goals in any way I can” type of way. My past mistakes and failures are not something I can dwell on, they are experiences I have gone through in order to build the foundation for the life I’m creating and manifesting. I know this sounds wishy washy, but it’s true. Living in the moment and using your past to move forward is something that we as humans must work toward everyday! Even the most successful people dwell on failures, but the difference is they can pull themselves out of their irrational brain and see their lives for what they are…a story that is ongoing and must have failures, successes and emotions to continue. Next time you think you’re not doing well or you think you could be doing more just ask yourself if you are truly living in the present and using your past to propel you, or if you’re dwelling in the past and letting it hold you back.
How do you plan to use your past to live in the present?
Learning to Manage the Unmanagable 
So this was actually something my therapist and I were discussing yesterday. Reprogramming our brains and understanding our triggers, is honestly one of the hardest things I have done. As soon as I think I have it figured out a curve ball gets thrown my way. I often feel like I am “behind” but I am learning more an more that, I am exactly where I need to be for the season I am currently in. I too often have to reprogram my brain and not allow my anxiety to control what I do.
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