It’s a Process

Recovery from anything is a process, but no one tells you that recovery from an eating disorder is a whole different ball game. Unlike an addiction to a substance, an addiction surrounding food is something you have to face every day. In no way, does that make other addictions less important or easier to recover from, but avoiding food is never an option because you need it to survive. You can live without drugs and alcohol, but you can’t altogether avoid food and I think that is the hardest part about recovery.

Some days I wake up and think I’ve got it all figured out and then other days like today I wake up and just feel like no progress has been made. Appearances tell very little about a person and I’m sure most people don’t look at someone and think “wow that person definitely has issues.” In the 7 years that I have actively been working to recover from the years of damage I have done to my body, I have not once thought to myself “yep, I’m good now…I’ll never think about my body or food in a negative way ever again.” In a world where appearance is everything it’s almost impossible to not think about body image, food, the scale, weight or exercise. In some ways, I have traded one form of addiction for another but given the choice I would rather workout and get endorphins flowing than not eat or make myself sick. Health is not measured by appearance but this world makes it incredibly hard to recognize that. The age old saying “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” stands today and it is important to realize that you never truly know what’s going on in someone’s life.

I don’t share these struggles in the hopes that someone takes pity on me. I share them because I know there are more people struggling with their own addictions than anyone could possibly imagine. I have been 30 pounds heavier and 20 pounds lighter than I currently am but not once did I ever feel good enough. I don’t want anyone to go through life thinking they have to struggle alone.

My name is Sara, I’m 26 and recovering from an eating disorder and I want you (yes you) to know you are not alone.

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